Dear younger me, I love your flair.
We first met you after forty-eight hours of labor, two trips to the hospital, excruciating and nauseating contractions, and an epidural on Good Friday, very fittingly. You were born at 2:14 AM and started eating like a pro immediately.
Despite the intense two-day journey of having you, recovery was “easy breezy”, as you would put it, and I was home and going on walks the following day. That’s so true to your easygoing style.
When I see you, Rachel, I see kindness. I see the girl who always shares her birthday money to buy something for her older sister or gives away her dessert to her baby sister without putting a second thought to it.
When I see you, I see sass. I see the girl who rocks her style around town like a boss. The girl with quick, witty one-liners that have us all rolling. The girl that’s cool and doesn’t even know it.
When I see you, I see joy. I see the girl beaming in her new dress. The girl that’s always, without fail, an easy giggle. The girl whose face lights up with a smile when playing with friends.
I’m not sure what it’s like to be the middle child. I imagine some days you get overlooked as I’m dealing with Ella’s activities and Emily’s diapers and naps. One of my favorite things about you is how well you roll with it; how well you roll with anything. I’ve called you our little “fairy girl” at times because you like to dream, to walk through the park field and imagine while your sisters are wearing the playground out.
You’re only five, but I don’t think I’ll ever have to worry about you being comfortable in your own skin, in knowing who you are. You’ve got a style, a swag, that seems to come so natural. You’ve got a security in who you are that inspires me. That will inspire many.
While I worry about you learning to work the system by using your wit as you get older (“Mommy, we should we watch the movie “The Star”…it’s about Jesus, you would love it.”) ;), I trust that you will always have other people’s interests at heart.
The way you let Emily carry your audiobook out of the library when she started to scream? Loved it. The way you hand me diapers when I’m changing her or give her a hug when she cries? I’m inspired by you.
Rachel, despite all of the respect and admiration I have for your security, know that there is nothing to be more confident in than God’s love for you. He formed you. He made you. And He did a pretty darn awesome job.
There will be days when people you share your heart with, your sincerity with, will let you down. Don’t let other people crush your beautiful spirit. On those days, know that His love for you is constant. No matter what. Rest your confidence, your security, in that.
I love you, little Rachel. I can’t wait to see you start Kindergarten next year and grow into the girl with flavor that I know you’ll be.