Finding Fellowship: How I Built Community at a New Church

After moving four years ago, my family and I found it hard to connect with our new parish community. With three girls under age 5, we spent most services confined to the cry room on our knees, picking up the crushed pretzels that had failed to pacify our children. Before the closing hymn began, my husband or I would pull around the minivan for curbside pickup for the love of my sanity.

None of my kids were enrolled in the parish school yet. I hadn’t joined a Bible study or book group since my husband’s travel made my nightly availability non-existent, and getting involved felt infeasible as I stayed at home with three young children.

Adult parish life, heck, adult friendship is hard. I’m guessing you can relate.

If any of you also feel sad you don’t recognize people in the lobby after Church, are longing for the community you once had, or wish you knew more people in your neighborhood, you are not alone.

Here are three ways we’re attempting to get community rolling.

1. Find your people

As I waited in the preschool pickup line when my kids started school in the parish the following fall, one kind woman invited me to a daytime Bible study. We dropped our kids off, switched between who hosted over coffee, went through Bible chapters until the preschool pickup alarms went off, and left to pick up our kiddos. That woman found the common ground all of us shared — kids in preschool at the parish — and invited us to gather in our free slots when they were at school.


I would encourage you to start here. Your common ground — kids on the same team, living on the same block, diehard sports fans — likely look different. But gathering with these women each week has built friendships which served as our starting place to build a greater community all because one person made the first move.

Are you called to do the same?

2. Put your game plan together…

I was honored to share what a few of us are doing to build community amidst the covid crazy we’re walking through right now for Busted Halo.

If you feel the need for community read the rest of the post here! –

Finding fellowship : How I built community at a new church - Ashley Stevens post on Busted Halo